08.08.08

Presidential (hot) Paris: VOTB

Posted in Politics, Vote Out The Bums at 8:16 pm by Administrator

Paris Hilton exemplifies the comical nature of politics. This year’s election seems to be scripted by the writers from Saturday Night Live. Obama and McCain are saying bizarre things as if they were on LSD. Tire inflation is a national energy policy! Campaign ads compared a male presidential candidate to two female pop stars, Britney and Paris. Politics and politicians are laughable beyond belief. VOTB

Paris Hilton is hot even without an environmental impact statement. McCain is a stone cold iceberg. Obama is a throw-up warm muffin. The rest of the presidential field is global warming green – with envy. Paris is more real and has more to offer American citizens than all the rest combined.

Thank you, Paris for throwing your Gucci hat into the presidential race. Since the presidential race is nothing more than a popularity contest, Paris wins. She will get most of the male vote (she’s hot). Even though only females with good taste will vote for Paris there are plenty of quality shoppers out there in the heartland. Paris has publicly stated that she won’t accept any votes from discount shoppers. All in all, Paris should win by more votes than Clinton did when Ross Perot was a third party candidate.

Physically, Paris is much better looking than any of the candidates or Hillary for that matter. You can bet that Paris’s press conferences will be the most highly rated in television history . McCain may have bigger boobs, but Paris looks better in a swimsuit. Obama and Paris are sporting types, but Paris keeps her shape without having to play basketball and getting all sweaty. However, Paris may show some moisture on the dance floor!

Paris has stage presence and speaks confidently without thinking about her words. McCain and Obama talk as if they have stage fright. They constantly stutter and use “uh”. They speak with broken sentence structure, trying to avoid saying the wrong thing. Paris only speaks of stylish things open to designer interpretations.

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We’re getting our focus back. Paris has more to offer than either of the two top candidates. First and most important, she can’t be bought off. Both McCain and Obama are in the pockets of big money. They both want Paris’s lifestyle. Paris doesn’t need big money. She’s hot!

Paris doesn’t waffle on issues. She constantly amazes people with her understanding of the “simple things”. She connects with everyday citizens. She’s honest to a fault. Many can empathize with her when she admits not knowing how to milk a cow. All Obama and McCain want to do is milk American citizens (and non-citizens) until we become poor peasants. They are both globalists with elitist delusions of becoming King of the Americas.

Paris is a steadfast shopper and clubber. As president she would institute an economic stimulus policy that included a ‘National Shopping Week’ (that’s hot), ‘Club Hopping Month’ (with no DUIs) and ‘Buy you best friend a designer outfit’ Day – once a month!

Paris would institute ‘uniform reform’. As another part of her stimulus package she would class up the uniform business. Her people would redesign the uniforms for the armed services, city and state police and prison folk (both guards and prisoners in pastels, of course). Hospital personnel colors will move towards the left with a mauve taupe hue. Neither Obama nor McCain are offering anything as eye stimulating as (hot) Paris.

“We need some totally hot legislation” to help those unfortunate Wal-Mart shoppers, she might state. Now, only politicians and celebrities ride limousines to the mall. To counter elitism travel, Paris will recreate public transportation in the image of a natural gas-powered limousine. That’s an economic equality idea for the ages. Public transportation will become more popular than the SUV!

This blob calls for a presidential debate with Paris, McCain and Obama. Saks 5th avenue should host the debate. The debate should cover everyday topics like style and wardrobe assembly necessary for presidential trips abroad, lowering taxes to allow for more shopping (that’s hot) and printing our own money (down with the private, for profit owned Federal Reserve) to lower the national debt (and allow for more shopping – hottest).

Why don’t citizens see the Paris light? Paris isn’t a bum. All the other politicians lack her style and grace. And most importantly Obama and McCain are in the pockets of big, international money pushing global ideas.

VOTB – Vote Out The Bums: every incumbent, every election.

Thanks Paris for exposing these political clowns. Now you can support VOTB at our stylish store.

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